BEER, bar staff, cigarettes, expletives, tables, chairs, drunken stupidity and great conversation can be found in pretty much every pub and in every city.
Toilets also feature in every premises, but not necessarily how you remember them from days of yore.
Some pubs, such as the Wheatsheaf Inn, Burn, still have them outside, and others, such as York's Last Drop Inn, keep them upstairs. But other than location there has always been little in the way of scatological variety.
Until now.
Maybe it is boredom, maybe it is a cheap trick to achieve novelty value or maybe the latrine habits of drinkers all over North Yorkshire are changing. Whatever it is, WCs are getting weirder.
When Victor J's took delivery of specially-designed toilet seats with matching strangely painted walls, that was exciting.
When Bar Talk pictured Lord Halifax with the newly-designed loos at the Fleece Inn, Bishop Wilton, that was entertaining.
But what is happening now is on a whole new level.
It all started with the unisex loos at the £1 million Bar 38 (where you could be eating for free if you win our competition, although not in the loos themselves).
The shared facilities are a novelty that has been received positively by York's young professional target market at the Ouse-side bar.
Although regarded by some as a little too modern, the toilets don't appear to be sending anyone potty.
Never has so much time been spent hand-washing as drinkers try to prove to the opposite sex that hygienically they are beyond reproach.
Also, the fountain area offers plenty of chatting-up opportunities - the longer you wash, the longer you can chat. Many a match has been made already, Bar Talk has learned.
ANOTHER bar to cash in on ridiculous toilet facilities opens next Wednesday. Applause, set to open in Station Parade, Harrogate, is offering women customers a 'twobicle'.
The two-seater lavatory is based on five years of toilet-watching by joint owner Hayley Walters, and has received a positive reception from some girls Bar Talk collared on a night out recently.
"I think it is a great idea in principle," said Val Drakeley, 44, a care assistant visiting York for the weekend from Doncaster. "I would only really feel comfortable using it with my best friend, but it certainly is novel and could be quite a laugh."
This view was shared by 20-year-old student Tanya Northridge. "It is all a bit silly," she said. "But if men can chat in the toilet, then why can't we. It could be fun."
CAMRA pubs officer Geoff Henman also has plenty to say about toilets everywhere. "Twin thrones must be a good idea - us men already have the advantage of multiple use urinals, I know we don't go to the toilets in twos but we take the opportunity of making new friends, irrespective of the type of toilet
"I don't go along with the current TV ad which implies we only use our toilets for size comparison purposes."
He has not seen the unisex toilets in Bar 38 "but the principle of joint facilities for washing and tidying up are used by most of my favourite 'Brown' bars in Belgium and Northern France and do not cause any problems or embarrassment, although I must admit it is often a talking point by visitors from the UK when seeing them for the first time."
Dan Beergutstein
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