With the fuel crisis receding, DAN RUTSTEIN juiced up his Ford Escort and headed down to Staffordshire for the ultimate day out.
WHAT a happy place. It isn't just the rides, or the numerous food and drink outlets, or even the beautiful landscaping. No, it is something you can't put your finger on.
But whatever it is, Alton Towers is the perfect day out.
Whoever designed this theme park got it spot on. Everyone you walk past is happy, there weren't even any crying children.
From the moment you step on to the monorail which takes you from the vast car park to the park itself, the excitement of the day begins.
Once you have paid the entrance fee, you feel you deserve a cracking day out, it is not cheap but it is worth it.
There are scary rides and slow rides, there are amusement arcades and merchandising outlets, Pizza Hut and snack bars, haunted houses and a children's farm. There is a lot of choice and plenty of time.
The park is huge and wonderfully spaced out, the rides aren't on top of each other without ever being too far away.
And what rides.
Nemesis, a feet dangling rollercoaster, is fast, Katanga Canyon is wet, the Black Hole is dark and jolting; and as for Oblivion, well, it is both horrible and fantastic but certainly in a class of its own.
Oblivion has the longest queue of all the attractions. After waiting your turn, you sit in one of two rows on a moving platform. The bulky carriage jerks forward until reaching the exciting part, the world's first vertical rollercoaster.
Hanging precariously over the edge looking down at a straight drop into a dark and steamy hole many feet beneath you is an unpleasant but unique experience.
After what seems like an age you drop and scream and holler, suffering excitement and fear at the same time.
It is exhilaration at its most basic. You go to Alton Towers, they shove, push, spin and drop you. Then you go home, happy. Very happy.
Cleverly, the park caters for all ages and all adrenaline levels. Old Macdonald's Farm provides children with animals to stroke, ducks with crazy plumage and relaxing tractor and boat rides.
Ug Land offers thrill-seekers the corkscrew, an ageing but enjoyable rollercoaster, as well as a climbing wall and some slower rides accompanied by the most bizarre caveman music imaginable.
Both the swan ride and the Congo River Rapids boat offer slightly more calming experiences, but nothing is more relaxing than a picnic in the park. As well as hosting superb rides, the park also offers beautifully landscaped gardens.
The cable-car ride shows off the park's arboreal assets, and a leisurely lunch sitting by the lakes, among the trees or by the bushes breaks up an otherwise hectic day.
We must admit we were lucky. It was sunny and quiet, so short queues and short post-water ride drying times.
Maybe on a wetter, busier day, it may not be as much fun. But when we went, it couldn't have been much better.
Fact file
Open until October 29. From 9.30am, rides start at 10am and close between 5pm and 7pm, with the park closing an hour later.
Entry price varies between £16 and £21 for adults and £13 and £17 for children depending on day you visit. Ring on 08705 204060 for details.
Directions: A64 on to the A1/M1. Leave the M1 at Junction 28 and follow the signs.
Journey time: approx one-and-a-half hours.
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