Regular readers might remember that I have previously expressed an aversion to shopping. But now that Jean has lost most of her mobility, and has reluctantly handed over responsibility to me for carrying out shopping operations - I call them operations because of the military manner in which she plans them - I am now, by necessity, a fully-fledged supermarket shopper.
I did, of course, require an extensive training course before Jean would let me loose alone with a shopping trolley. Lists had to be compiled in Jean's methodical manner: "...so that you don't backtrack; look out for the 'two for the price of one' items; always leave the frozen stuff until last, and have your 'loyalty' card, 'money-off' vouchers and debit card ready for the cashier as you enter the check-out," were her final instructions.
It was only last week that I was permitted to venture out alone to Safeway to shop for a top-up of essential items. With the school holidays just having started, it was an exacting "baptism of fire".
There has to be an easier way to shop, I thought. So, having seen Tesco's ad to "shop online", I decided to give it a whirl. From its customer service desk I collected its CD rom, "Now it's so easy to shop from home". It looked a doddle, but it wasn't - well not for someone recently technophobic - and I burned the midnight oil trying to install the programme. I rang its customer services manager - an obliging young man, who e-mailed some 'help' notes to work from. But still the beast wouldn't respond.
Leaving it to cool off for a couple of days, I remembered a friend, who had a computer buff daughter working at Tesco. I enlisted her aid and in less time than it takes to read the York Citizen, she'd got me on the right track. And when the customer services team realised my difficulty in preparing an order by Internet they couldn't have been more helpful, unless it was to come and "fill my trolley".
Full marks for Tesco's team of online helpers; with their assistance, the technically backward, mentally impaired, and the "over the hill" need have no fear of taking their trolleys into cyberspace. It makes shopping fun, and the trolley wheels go where you want them.
What a double act: 'Speedy' Jack Straw and Twin-Jag John Prescott. I do believe these two ministers are now working in cahoots. While the Home Secretary is plotting to impose lifetime driving bans on motorists who cause death or injury by speeding (why not make it "three strikes and you're out" for speeding and drink driving?), the Minister for Transport and the Environment is causing British Rail's 1960s 'hatchet-man' Lord Richard Beeching to turn in his grave, by planning to re-open long-dormant rail stations.
Jack Straw getting defaulting motorists out of their vehicles, and John Prescott making sure that there are plenty of trains, stopping at convenient stations, to take the extra passengers; it could be an election winner for New Labour - if it works.
We seem to be turning full circle, to the time when few people had motorcars and it was fun to travel by train. Could it ever again be that way?
I have been admonished by a member of the Yorkshire Air Museum, Elvington, for calling it the RAF Air Museum, which, every airman will know, is at Cosford and Hendon. My apologies to all those enthusiastic volunteers, who make the Yorkshire Air Museum such a special place to visit.
Speaking of Yorkshire, I hope all you Yorkies are wearing white roses today.
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