Dave Stanford enjoys a weekend break at an historic, English coaching inn.
I suppose disappearing lager is just one of the perils of staying in a 15th-century coaching inn. Not that the Ye Olde Dog and Partridge is haunted by thirsty spooks. A beer straight from the mini-bar seemed a fitting reward for a two-hour drive, or thereabouts, to our chosen destination, nestling on the Derbyshire-Staffordshire border.
Kicking back and taking in the sumptuous surroundings that was our bedroom for the next two nights I failed to notice the glass of the amber nectar slide off the bedside locker and promptly land upright on the floor without a drop being spilt.
Yes, Ye Olde Dog, a beautiful and charming building standing on the broad High Street of Tutbury, near Burton-upon-Trent, is no mock Tudor mansion favoured by footballers but boasts original beams and, as the acrobatic lager proved, uneven floors.
The ascent to our room added to the authenticity. No lifts at Ye Olde Dog but steps as steep as those leading up to Clifford's Tower.
The climb was well worth it, however.
History and hospitality rubbed shoulders effortlessly in our luxurious room. Modern gadgets - colour TV, CD player, remote-controlled air-conditioning and, of course, a fully-stocked mini-bar - somehow did not look out of place amid the carefully-considered decor and colour scheme.
The problem with such extravagance is a reluctance to step outside, especially when a cold beer, once recovered from the floor, is close at hand and room service is so prompt and efficient.
Fortunately, Ye Olde Dog and Partridge boasts a highly acclaimed and recently refurbished restaurant, The Brasserie, where splendid dishes are served in rich and vibrant surroundings.
The colours and discreet lighting of The Brasserie blend and lend superbly to the informal atmosphere and freshest food.
Pre-meal drinks can be enjoyed in The Brasserie's bar, clearly a favourite meeting place for young and old alike, and for a few hours it seemed like a Paris wine bar had taken root in middle England.
The inn also features a well-established and highly popular carvery restaurant, where the emphasis is wholesome traditional fare in more traditional-inn surroundings.SO popular is the carvery that we couldn't take a taste test. Sunday lunch-time was fully-booked but it actually came as a relief - the excesses of Saturday night in the Brasserie were still being blissfully felt.
The guilt and over indulgence was worked away at the nearby Branston Golf and Country Club, also part of the Burton Inns Group which owns Ye Olde Dog and Partridge.
Just a 15-minute drive away, Branston offers another chance to relax and unwind in some splendour but requires a tad more energy.
Declining the chance to play golf or take a dip in the club's pool, I chose the air-conditioned gym to try and sweat-out the previous night's extravagance and then a much more agreeable back and neck massage.
Suitably cleansed, all the good work was quickly undone in the club's Rusty Duck bar and restaurant courtesy of some magnificent sandwiches - beer-battered salmon and Mexican beef - as aching muscles made way for tingling taste-buds.
Returning to Ye Olde Dog, it was time to take a keener interest in Tutbury and its surroundings.
I am assured there is much to see and do in the town, including Tutbury Castle and its neighbourly Norman church.
Unfortunately both were closed and after a wasted journey up a hill at least as steep as the steps to our room to be greeted by locked gates my partner, Karen, and I were in no mood for anymore unnecessary exertions.
Apparently, when Mary Queen of Scots was imprisoned in Tutbury Castle jugs of beer were taken to her on a regular basis from the pub.
We doubted such a service would stretch quite as far nowadays and so to decided on a swift return to the inn to raid our mini-bar once again.
Fortunately, its dwindling stocks had been replenished and another cool lager, this time carefully placed, seemed a fitting end to a most relaxing weekend.
Fact File
Accommodation: excellent*****
Food: Top nosh*****
Value for money: Pricey but quality****
Things to do: Branston was a bonus***
More information:Ye Olde Dog and Partridge High Street, Tutbury, Burton upon Trent, Staffordshire DE13 9LS, telephone 01283 813030. Ye Olde Dog and Partridge offers a privilege membership card for Branston Golf and Country Club.
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