A North Yorkshire mother reunited with her son after more than 30 years today relived the nightmare of giving her baby away to strangers because her family faced social stigma.
MUMS: Alistair pictured with his two mums, Marjorie, left, and Sheila
It was 1966 and Marjorie Parkin, a 20-year-old unmarried nurse from Hemingbrough, near Selby, gave birth to a son.
The swinging sixties was the era of so-called sexual freedom, but for Mrs Parkin, now 52, the baby born out of wedlock brought guilt and shame, and haunted her for over 30 years.
She said when the day came to hand over her new-born son to his adoptive parents at the adoption society office in York, it was "like going to my death sentence".
But the heartache and tears are now over. Mrs Parkin was re-united with her son, Alistair, two years ago, and decided to tell all to give fresh hope to other families facing the same trauma.
Speaking at her home in Water Lane, Hemingbrough, Mrs Parkin recalled those dark days in 1966 which almost ruined her life.
She said: "My boyfriend was in the Army. We'd been friends for four months before we slept together and I immediately became pregnant.
"I didn't tell a soul for six months because I was terrified of what my parents would say if they found out."
Six weeks before Alistair was born, she was taken to a home for "wayward" girls in Hull. While she was there she wrote to her boyfriend in the hope he would come home and "sort things out", but he denied paternity.
Mrs Parkin said she was then brainwashed into giving her baby up for adoption before she grew too attached to him.
She said: "When the day came to give him away I prepared a box of things for him. I put so much love into that box, but there was a little bonnet I kept back.
"The bonnet smelled of him and for months afterwards I would hold my face in it and breathe in because it was part of him."
She was put into a room at the adoption society, and told to say goodbye to her son. With tears streaming down her face, the baby was pulled from her arms.
She said: "I can't remember anything after that. I was screaming and hysterical - it was as if my heart had been torn in half."
Mrs Parkin is now happily married to husband Vic and has two other sons, Nicholas and John. But she said there wasn't a day went by without her thinking of Alistair.
Then out of the blue two years ago, a letter arrived from North Yorkshire Social Services saying her long-lost son was looking for her.
After exchanging emotion-charged letters, they eventually spoke to each other on the phone, talking non-stop for two hours. They finally met the following day.
Mrs Parkin said: "I held him so tightly I nearly squeezed him to death. We couldn't stop hugging each other all day, and when I finally waved him off I burst into floods of tears."
Mrs Parkin - whose poignant story was told in BBC2's Keeping Mum - is now the best of friends with Alistair's adoptive mother, Sheila, who lives in Harrogate.She said: "Alistair is able to get on with his life now, and for me it's wonderful just to be able to share in his life.
"I waited over 30 years to see him, and it's everything and more I dreamed of."
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