I am growing tired of ringing major companies and being treated to a recording of a three-year-old on xylophone playing Greensleeves. The addition of the lying assertion by a digitally recorded floozy that my call will be answered shortly adds to the insult.

The realisation that I am paying for these privileges raises my blood pressure to superheated steam level.

I wish someone would invent a device that could send avenging impulses down the line and blast the foul circuitry into molten silicon.

Andy Baldock,

Villa Grove,

Heworth Green,

York.

Converted for the new archive on 30 June 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.