Claus for concern?

OPINION is deeply divided on Santa Claus. Some people love the automated, larger-than-life Father Christmas at Monks Cross Woolworth's, others think he is terrifying. And that is before we find out what the children think.

The kindly-looking character tells stories in a smooth, grandfatherly voice all-day long at the newly-opened store. By the wonders of modern-day automation, his lips move to the words despite what story cassette is placed in the cleverly-concealed tape player behind him, and when his life-like eyes fix on you, he is mesmerising.

But he never actually turns the pages of his book and he is roped off from an adoring - or petrified - public.

Comments from grown-ups range from "He's horrible, so stiff and lifeless" or "He is enough to put kids off Christmas for life" to "He's so clean and smart and has a lovely, kind voice" or "at least he won't get drunk on the sherry, and you don't have to worry about your child sitting on his lap!"

At 22 months, Jack Nelson in our picture doesn't say much but his smile tells it all. And little Kerry Walls, aged four, said: "He's lovely and cuddly."

Woolworth's Monks Cross manager Karan Forbes confided: "The youngsters sit on a bench in front of Santa to listen to the stories. They adore him. In fact there was one older man on the bench who kept shushing people so he could hear a story to the end." Sounds like a complaint could be coming from the Santa Union.

LORD Mayor Derek Smallwood was even more delighted than normal when he received another cheque towards his flourishing Christmas lights appeal - this time for £300 from the bus company First York.

For back in the 1980s, when Coun Smallwood worked as a bus driver and was leading a campaign against bus deregulation and privatisation, he was sacked by the then West Yorkshire Road Car Company in a row over the use of a bus to publicise the campaign. He later won compensation at an industrial tribunal.

The WYRCC went through a series of changes in ownership and names over the years to become what is now First York. Derek, who said everything was amicable on his visit to the First York garage in James Street, praised the company for helping him take the fund total up to the £20,500 mark. "I'm delighted they have helped ensure York will enjoy its best-ever Christmas lights display."

SANTA will soon be arriving in York again to realise the dreams of thousands of excited little children.

But Turpin today puts out a heartfelt appeal for help from the man in red, who will this year be doling out his pressies from a new grotto in Stonegate Walk.

Father Christmas still needs more elves to help him in his task.

So if you know of any little helpers who can assist Santa in the run-up to Christmas (with due remuneration of course) you should call his office on 01647 277588. Santa's spokesman said: "Santa is an equal opportunities employer... so long as the applicants have pointy little ears!"

IT IS always flattering to get a mention, especially with a photograph, in a new book.

So Vale of York MP Anne McIntosh was delighted to be included with more than 100 of her female MP colleagues in a prestigious publication, One Two One, Women in Parliament.

The book of photographs by Victoria Carew Hunt celebrates the election of 121 women to Parliament, and cash from the sale of each copy will go towards breast cancer research.

Miss McIntosh was so moved by the publication, she issued a press release welcoming its launch and adding: "I was surprised, however, to see in the book that I am described as the Labour MP for the Vale of York. I am, of course, a Conservative!"

WHILE York is still coming to terms with the opening of a designer clothes outlet and its effect on the environment, our good neighbour, Leeds, is at the forefront of the sexual revolution and is about to open the first sexy, erotic superstore on its doorstep.

It will be called Cocktails, will house the largest collection of sex aids this side of Germany and will pride itself on being a truly family-run store.

Leaflets flooding the fair city of York advertising Cocktails under the slogan "Couples who play together, stay together," leave something to be desired in the spelling department. Or perhaps they really do plan to sell "rubber and leather wear through to crouchless panties..."

LORD Hattersley was in fine form at the Dean Court Hotel literary lunch in York, regaling diners with political anecdotes.

But there is one thing the former Labour deputy leader is more passionate about than politics - his beloved Sheffield Wednesday.

Not everyone in his home city shares this allegiance, however, as the life peer was recently reminded. When Lord H lost his car key fob, which operated the remote control central locking, he took the motor to a garage to be fixed. It was only when he got it back that he discovered the mechanics had replaced his key fob - with one bearing the badge of arch rivals Sheffield United.

"Every time I go to unlock the car I have to look at it," sighed the life peer to his companions.

STILL with football, I hear of an unseemly dispute in one York household that threatens to bring the game into disrepute. Wigginton player Daniel Collinge left his muddy football boots in the kitchen after a fixture, much to the annoyance of his mother Maxine.

Mad Max, matriarch of The Maltings pub, then took husband Shaun's jokey suggestion seriously and threw out the boots.

Come the next match, young Daniel discovered the loss, and furiously stomped off to shell out another £85 for a pair of adidas Predators. But neither Dan, nor his gleaming boots, subsequently saw much action. The young man - who lives in a pub which operates a no-swearing policy - was sent off after four minutes for foul and abusive language.

COLLEAGUE Tamzin Hindmarch returned to her car in a Malton car park to find a fixed penalty notice stuck to her windscreen - right next to the valid, all-day parking ticket she had paid for that morning.

As Tamzin uncharitably considered where the nice, intelligent traffic warden might like to stick that ticket, a friend of the angry reporter suggested that perhaps it was because her sticker had been placed upside down on the windscreen, an offence which, Turpin is assured, warrants a fine in East Yorkshire.

On opening the notice, though, she found not a £20 fine, but a polite, signed note from the aforementioned traffic warden suggesting that, as a regular user of the car park, Tamzin could save money by buying a long-stay permit. How awfully pleasant.

21/11/98

Converted for the new archive on 30 June 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.