ESCAPOLOGY jokes were bound to come thick and fast as opening band Houdini unchained their melodies in the third heat of the Evening Press/Fibbers Battle of the Bands.
And yet, despite their daredevil openings, the floppy-fringed three piece were the only act not to escape with a chance of making the semi-finals of York's premier rock rumble.
Morose to a man, the bass-driven trio suppressed smiles to bring home the musical misery of their alienated anthems championing failed romance and unusual cocktail suggestions.
Drawing inspiration from obscure late 80s alternative references, Houdini's showstarter unwittingly unearthed obscure Sonic Youth, Smiths and Television Personalities tracks to formidable effect.
But it was clear, as their singer Ben Parker snarled, "I'd like to drink a whole pint of disinfectant", Houdini have some way to go before they clean up their act.
Next up, Santos crammed the stage with five feisty members bristling louder than a bag of belligerent hedgehogs. Attitude reigned supreme as the Manchester music scene-inspired outfit struck vigorous chords and launched into their opening number with swaggers drawn.
Chart toppers Oasis were spurned in favour of the swirling sound of the Charlatans as Santos made up for their lack of a Hammond organ with finger-tangling guitar work from axe men Steve Forster and Nic Murray.
Their snarling set climaxed with a distinctly unpsychedelic version of The Beatles' Strawberry Fields Forever, earning them second place and a shot at entering the Battle of the Bands' semi-finals as highest scoring runners-up.
Meanwhile, Selby-based Fluid were busy pouring themselves into tight-fitting trousers and on to the thirsty palates of rock-loving Fibbers folk.
Fuelling fears of a Selby drummer shortage, Fluid sticksman- and Battle of the Bands stalwart - Ginner made his annual appearance with yet another band bussed in from the musically maverick mining capital of North Yorkshire.
This time Ginner joined other band members in a spate of multi-tasking, taking turns harmonising with flamboyant frontman Roger Paul.
Amplifiers were turned up to 11 as the fast-paced five piece stormed through their inflated version of German songbird Nena's anti-war warbling: Ninety Nine Red Balloons.
But it was Paul who stole the show with gravity-defying leaps and lung-exploding vocals memorised straight out of the textbook of rock.
A weight-watchers' answer to Meatloaf; the slightly-built singer belted out his lyrics only slightly faster than the votes that came flooding in to send them straight to the semi-finals.
Clean up your act
AND off we go with Houdini, whose guitarist makes a truly dreadful noise but it perfectly complemented the slash-your-wrists student angst band he's in.
The singer moaned like Scott Walker but, oddly enough, had a Kenneth Williams nasal twang.
"I'd drink a whole pint of disinfectant", he grimly intoned, "and change my name by deed poll to something sexy" went the brilliant couplet. Don't change it to Dettol, mate.
They rocked a bit at the end with "Smiler" but ... mine's a bleach and lime please.
Now then, let's see. I bet the Santos record collection goes all the way from Oasis to Ocean Colour Scene to...ooh...Symposium! A massive range you'll agree. For most of the set the band were on a different agenda to the singer who, admittedly has got something; "Anybody got a spare snare drum? Awww, it dunt marrer". It was all rescued with an inspired Strawberry Fields, which reveals this band's potential. Kerrang! Gerrung" Screeee" Heck, I thought a Selby band had nearly got it right until they got past that first explosive number and it all went rapidly downhill. Sad cover after sad cover followed.
Their fans loved it, swilling Newcastle Brown and imagining it really was Judas Priest up there. They look good and the singer is great but I bet the band haven't told him. What is he doing here?
All of a sudden I felt like Houdini....
The Rat
Converted for the new archive on 30 June 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.
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