GULP friction courses right through the grub-stakes of English football.

That was one of the chief food for thought findings of the iron-gutted team of tasters who helped to compile the first authoritative survey into soccer fans' scran.

The Colman's Football Food Guide was launched today amid the genteel surroundings of The Ivy Restaurant, one of London's most swanky eating-spots. Catering for the occasion, however, was done by the prize-winning pie-men and women of Cambridge United.

The U's may languish in the bottom half of the Nationwide League basement, but they are the 'A'-team, top of the scoffs in the entire country, according to the Colman's Guide.

Four months on from the first tentative forays into the culinary melting-pot of England's professional game, it's official - there are huge discrepancies in fans' fare.

From the winning Cambridge blue - cordon, of course - to bottom of the food chain Leyton Orient, there is a 'Jimmy Five-Bellies' gulf in what the hungry supporter can expect once he, or she, dares to sample the wares through the turnstiles.

Besides a north-south divide, there's also a clear disparity between the haves and have-nots. Nine of the leading 20 clubs are north of Birmingham, while not a single Premiership club breaches the top ten.

Football columnist and broadcaster Jim White, who edited the guide, was among the constitution-threatened team of samplers.

Explained White: "Football food has always been regarded as being in the same U-bend of public affection as the British Rail sandwich or hospital food.

"This is the most comprehensive survey of food at football grounds, but it's a modest boast because no-one has touched on the subject before."

From Man U to menu, from Port Vale to pork pies, the range and quality of footie victuals ranged from the downright dire to the sumptuous and succulent.

Among the winners for White, whose first eating experience was to ponder the 'primordial ooze dribbling from a pie' at his beloved Old Trafford 23 years ago, were the bacon rolls at Cambridge, the mushy peas and mint sauce at Notts County, and the pie and a pint stall at Huddersfield Town.

"The average spend at Huddersfield was said to be 49pence," chuckled White, his demeanour changing dramatically when contrasting the Terriers' fans parsimony with the £50 a head projected spend for each customer at Chelsea's soon to be opened Oyster Bar.

Whatever next - sushi sandwiches, or partridge millefeuille in a cranberry coulis? Even the most basic fare foxed one outlet at Scunthorpe, where, asked for a pie at half-time, a Colman's researcher was told they would not be ready for 20 minutes.

White believes clubs, especially those in the lower leagues, were literally cutting their own throats by not providing supporters, home and away, with wholesome and affordable grub.

And he was pleased that the Colman's guide condemned an invidious 'away fans' tax, whereby some clubs levied an extra charge on food and drink for visiting supporters.

Said White: "The away fan is one the one person who needs to be fed. They don't know about the chippy around the corner. Yet to some clubs the away fans are a cash cow to be milked."

White maintained that what the average supporter wants "is good, quality food at a reasonable price and serviced on time.

"It's a three-point plan, which a lot of clubs cannot seem to adhere to, though it does not seem too much to ask."

* The Colman's Football Food Guide will be distributed with the March issue of Goal magazine. After that it will be available from selected book shops at £4.95.

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