WHAT, asks Reg in The Life Of Brian, have the Romans ever done for us?
His friends then proceed to list the many advantages of living under Rome, until an exasperated Reg, as played by John Cleese, demands: "All right, but apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, a fresh water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?"
To which we might add: well, they did found our city.
It was AD71 when the Ninth Legion planted their sandals here and declared Eboracum open. And now the Romans are back. Emperors, gladiators, legionnaires and charioteers will enliven what we now like to call York this week as part of the York Roman Festival - see www.yorkromanfestival.com for full details.
Our city has been celebrating our Roman heritage like this almost since they left. Every fancy dress parade or street party has provided another excuse to turn bed sheets into togas and knit laurel wreaths.
Back in 1866, a Roman-style triumphal arch was built from wood on St Leonard's Place, to welcome the Prince and Princess of Wales to the city.
It was recalled in an article for the Yorkshire Gazette in 1900: "Another triumphal erection of a Roman character formed a handsome feature across St Leonard's from the library to the then Mrs Pearson's house.
"The central span was 21 feet and the structure rose to a height of nearly 60 feet... The two other arches - one on Ouse Bridge, and the other near the Friend's School, in Bootham - were also very imposing in appearance."
Romans featured heavily in the York Pageant of 1909. The entry of Constantine and Queen Helena into the performance arena was quite a spectacle: they were drawn in on a chariot by raven-coated horses to a fanfare of trumpets.
At the climax of festivities, "all the performers in the pageant assemble in chronological order, and York personified appears on a raised throne, with 'the eternal lamp of Constantius' alight over her head".
Perhaps York's greatest thanksgiving to our founding fathers came 34 years ago. In 1971, York celebrated its 1,900th birthday with a year-long party, which was peppered with Romans.
A postage stamp was even produced to mark the occasion. It was the first time that the founding of a city had been commemorated this way, and the first time a new Post Office issue had been shown in the provinces before official release in London.
The design showed a mounted Roman Legionnaire with the Multangular Tower behind, and won the Best Designed European Stamp that year.
The 1,900th festivities began with a New Year Ball which saw 1971 marched in by Roman soldiers and others in fancy dress at the Assembly Rooms.
Vestal virgins were out in force too. Their sleeveless dresses, cut up to the thigh, were not the most comfortable York winter wear.
"I've got a cold," one told the Evening Press. "Still, the show must go on." They could have warmed themselves next to the eternal flame, which burned outside the central library.
The hub of the 1,900th birthday was a three-hour pageant of York's history, held in Museum Gardens in June, with a cast of hundreds, many dressed in Roman costume.
The Lord Mayor's Parade boasted many historical floats including the British Legion transformed into the Roman Legion.
Everyone was joining in the anniversary. Shops put on special displays and schools did their own Roman productions.
"York's most permanent reminder of the 1900 celebrations, the 'Nineteen Hundredth' inn in Church Street, York, was opened by celebrations director Mr Richard Afton," the Evening Press reported that August. It is still there, but the name hasn't survived: in 1983 the pub reverted to the name of its predecessor on that site, the Golden Lion.
To add a regal seal of approval to the celebration, the Queen visited York (but not the Nineteen Hundreth) that summer.
But all good things must come to an end. The official finale came in October, with the final night procession finishing at Deans Park. There Roman emperor Severus went out in a blaze of glory - just as he did in AD211 when he was cremated "after working himself to death trying to civilise the North of Britain".
Pocklington-based Legionnaires and Huntington scout drummers followed Severus's funeral bier, and those vestal virgins were shivering alongside them.
And so York's biggest Roman knees-up came to a fiery end.
Updated: 11:39 Monday, August 01, 2005
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