THE Diary would love to say it had been a close contest, but we'd be lying.

As the Ebor races loom, it's fair to say there was a runaway winner in our Miss York photo caption competition.

Many of you spotted that the young playboy, looking distinctly like an 80s Elton John, was in fact none other than City of York Council leader Steve Galloway.

It was a picture begging for an amusing, witty aside and Mark Warters, of Osbaldwick, succeeded where so many you failed. He kept it simple, he kept it brief and he scooped the top prize - a Vodka Martini cocktail set - with his hilarious adaptation of Mae West's famous line:

Miss York - "Is that the Barbican redevelopment plan in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?"

But while Mark will be toasting his triumph in sumptuous style thanks to his new cocktail set, the Diary believes some of you had perhaps drunk a few too many cocktails before you sent in your entries.

While some of you can hold your heads high, others should be hung in shame. So, in true Clint Eastwood style, we've split up our entries into a gallery of the excellent and the ridiculous.

Feast your eyes on the good, the bad, the ugly and the plain unspeakable of caption writing.

The Good...

Steve Galloway:"Looking at you has just given me an idea for road humps."

"A double take for 'Countdown"

The Bad...

Steve Galloway: "I always thought it was pronounced linger eye and not lingerie."

Steve Galloway: "You and I are not dressed for the occasion don't you think?"

Miss York: "Don't worry, I am going to buy a dress with my £100 council tax rebate when you lead the Lib Dems into power."

The Ugly...

Steve Galloway: "Hello my dear, I'm the new Evening Press feature reporter - Steve on Feelgood Friday! But don't tell Mrs York!"

Steve Galloway: "Vote Lib Dem and I'll buy you a frock and take you to a new night club where you will be seen by 3500 other clubbers."

And the unspeakable

Steve Galloway: "Congratulations Miss York! At your second attempt, you've won the Evening Press 'Easy to pick up... hard to put down Vodka Martini Nitrus Oxide Dental KO cocktail set! To be taken three times a day, in waterproof underwear!" - why bother?

Many thanks to all of those who submitted captions - just do us a favour and don't give up the day jobs.

Updated: 09:09 Monday, August 15, 2005