"Would you like a Penguin?" I asked a child who had joined my daughters in the local park. "Yeh," said the youngster, before snatching the biscuit out of my hand.

No "yes, please", "thank-you" or any other expression of gratitude was forthcoming, neither did the child's mother, who witnessed the transaction, prompt her little girl to say "thanks".

I can't pretend that my offspring are the yardstick by which to measure good manners. They, and one in particular, often forget to say thank you when it is called for.

But if I am within earshot there is no way I would let this go, and would haul them forward and pick them up on their impoliteness with a stern ticking-off.

Since the moment my children were born I have rammed home the need to say "please" and "thank-you". I can forgive them for not responding to the "What do you say?" that I vaguely remember hissing to them as newborn babies, as the kindly team of doctors and nurses delivered them into the world.

And I can understand their failure to gush with gratitude each time I changed a nappy or handed them a rusk.

But, once they began to talk, "please" and "thank-you" were top of the list of new vocabulary passed on by me and my husband. Those basic social skills are, I believe, so important.

Yet, it seems, many parents do not hold these views. Teachers are being forced to train youngsters to say "please" and "thank-you" because parents are not doing so. As well as these basic manners, youngsters are not being shown skills like how to sit still, to tie shoelaces and fasten buttons. Some even need toilet training.

This comes as no surprise.

Nowadays, more and more people seem unwilling to use pleasantries of any sort. Queuing for a sandwich at lunchtime, it is amazing how few of the people being served say "thank you", and if you allow a motorist out in a queue of traffic they seldom acknowledge the gesture.

Equally, if you do someone a favour it is not always met with an expression of gratitude, a little card or phone call. Too many people seem to expect to have things done for them, and don't seem to register that they should show a little appreciation.

Just the other day I let a man go before me in the supermarket as he had only a couple of items to my 7,000. He responded by stepping in front of me, shoving me out of the way, without uttering a word. I felt like barging ahead with my overflowing trolley, running over his toes and making him wait half an hour.

If things are going to improve, it is the adults who need to be given lessons in social skills. They are the ones who are with their children most of the time, the ones who are primarily responsible for passing on rights and wrongs. When my children were very young, and had only just learned to say "please" and "thank you", they had no qualms to blurt out loud "Mummy that lady didn't say "please"."

Maybe it is time more of us started doing the same. I'd speak out more myself if there wasn't a very real risk of ending up in casualty, and the fact that no one would thank me for it.

Updated: 09:15 Tuesday, August 16, 2005