WHAT a filthy week. It started with Rude Britain, moved on to a feature denouncing bad language, and ends here, in Rude Britain once more.
Cast your minds back, like mental fly fishers, to Monday and you might recall our report on a new book that listed the 100 most offensive UK place names.
Wetwang and the Hole of Horcum were local entries, but we suggested some other Yorkshire locations the authors might consider for the inevitable second edition.
But our suggestions have been surpassed. "Reading about rude names in 'Diary On The Loose' by Chris Titley (he should talk!), I am reminded of my youth in the Thirties when there was a Parish Council in the West Riding of Yorkshire called Shitlington," Keith Smith informs us. The worthy burghers subsequently dropped the H and it became Sitlington, which it is today.
"There was also a village, I believe in Essex, called Prick End, but that seems to have disappeared."
Upper Poppleton's Mr Smith concludes: "These genuine names can be confirmed on the Ordnance Survey or the Post Office Guide of the period." As if we doubted them.
BY the way, which is the better Poppleton - Upper or Nether? Or neither?
WE asked which phrases beloved of broadcasters bugged you the most.
"My pet hate is 'from the word go', so beloved by the BBC weather forecasters," fumes Brian Waddington, of Terry Avenue, York.
"For example 'From the word go there will be showers in the east'. Who says 'Go'? What's wrong with 'From early morning' or some similar phrase?"
Brian has a point. We assume it must have something to do with those tiresome people who describe themselves as "go-getters".
Alec Dobinson, of Askham Lane, York, picked out one telly saying and - exceeding the brief - one from newspapers.
"Firstly TV interviewees who persistently use the phrase 'you know', and secondly newspaper reports of road accidents where it is stated that 'the vehicle lost control'," he writes. Vehicles do not lose control; it is the driver who loses control of the vehicle."
More suggestions please.
IT'S not just us: this from the Guardian's Corrections and Clarifications column on Monday. "In a report headed Families and IT links help save working village (about Robin Hood's Bay on the Yorkshire coast), page 22, August 22, we made several references, in the text and in a caption, to Paul and Jackie 'Whitestone'. They are in fact Paul and Jackie Johnston. Charlie is their son and not their daughter as the caption mistakenly suggested. Paul Johnston's PR business was in a village outside York and not in Leeds."
ALTHOUGH competition is fierce, Bring Your Husband To Heel is a prime contender for this year's most facile TV programme. The BBC was forced to apologise after receiving 200 complaints about the show, in which wives are taught to train their husbands like dogs.
We were interested to learn the show is based on the premise that men share 85 per cent of their DNA with dogs.
Yesterday scientists revealed that man shares 99 per cent of his genes with chimpanzees. Does this mean we can look forward to a programme where a group of hirsute men devour bananas and each other's fleas, while a modern Johnny Morris overdubs some comedy dialogue? We do hope so.
Updated: 09:23 Friday, September 02, 2005
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