Wellies are dangerous

My very first pair of adult boots, bought since we acquired our very first garden, must be the most painful, hazardous items in the footwear world. I have worn them only three times, and not only have my feet emerged covered in blisters (despite thick socks), but I have twice fallen on my face, slipped on to my bottom once and become stuck in both mud and bog.

It did not take me long to conclude that wellington boots are not only uncomfortable and restrict your movement - no wonder farmers take those long, lop-sided strides - but they could finish you off for good.

Now it's official. According to a survey by a well-known magazine, wellies are a major cause of accidents in and around the home. They were involved in an astonishing 7,093 visits to casualty in a single year. In most cases the wearer slipped while walking or pulled a muscle while putting them on.

The welly was not alone in being highlighted as a hazard. Other gear that seems perfectly harmless on the surface includes the cardigan, with baggy sleeves getting caught in doors or people straining themselves while putting them on.

I'm never out of cardigans and I've bruised my wrist many a time catching the sleeves on door handles. I've got a particularly lethal one with little woollen loops which attach themselves to anything within a 3ft radius. I've turned around on more than one occasion to find myself dragging a chair.

After wellies and cardis, the survey leaves clothes behind to list the dangers lurking behind innocent-looking items like pedal bins and cocktail sticks. But I can think of at least another four fashion items that should make the top ten:

Skirts: Anything longer than knee length can make climbing stairs in a hurry like scaling the north face of the Matterhorn. Many a time while rushing around at work, I've stumbled after stepping on the material and ended up flailing about on the steps.

Tights: As every woman knows, even the best ones fall down with alarming regularity. I've had twinges in my back and legs as I've struggled under layers of winter clothing to heave them skywards.

Scarves: Anything long and dangling freely from around your neck is asking for problems. I once caught a scarf in a lift door as it closed and only just managed to heave it free and save myself from a gruesome end.

Flip-flops: Any footwear which is kept in place by two toes should be condemned. Trip-flops would be a more appropriate name.

In fact, most items of clothing and footwear should carry a health warning. The answer is minimalism. From now on, in the name of safety, it's a Lycra body stocking and bare feet for me.

Updated: 09:10 Tuesday, November 15, 2005