"IT isn't April 1, is it?" Driving home last night, an item was aired on the radio which smacked of April foolery.

On Radio 4, of all places, it was a report about toilets.

It was not the facts behind the story - that women need twice as many toilets as men - that amused me, but the organisation they were quoting from.

The British Toilet Association. There couldn't possibly be such a body? I immediately wanted to join, to travel around the country testing seats and pressing handles to listen for a perfect - virtually silent, but powerful - flush.

If anyone should be co-opted to sit on the board it should be me. As my husband often venomously points out, I can't go out for the day without knowing the whereabouts of the ladies' loos. There has to be one at least every quarter of a mile or we don't leave the house.

I checked the internet. There it was, in Winchester. The British Toilet Association (or BTA), campaigns for 'better public toilets for all.' Its mission is to represent the interests of toilet providers, suppliers and users of all types and to pursue excellence in all these areas.

These aims have made the news on more than one occasion, and the report I heard involved a campaign to up the ratio of women's toilets to double that of men's.

Quite right too. In fact, I would up it even further to ten times. Most women go a dozen times a day, most men go twice.

A male friend tells of a Tom Jones concert at St George's Hall in Bradford when the women, finding the ladies packed during the interval, swarmed into the gents. "It was terrifying," he recalled.

Going to the loo is a time-consuming affair for us, and we should be provided for. Unlike men, we can't just pop in, stand against the wall and get on with it. With skirts, trousers, tights, "Magic Knickers", corsets, bodices and the rest, we often have to remove half our clothes before we can take a seat (and that often needs making presentable first).

Then when we emerge from the cubicle we have to check our make-up, brush our hair, check handbags for purses and car keys.

We even choose restaurants and pubs for the loos - a combination of bad lighting and huge mirrors can ruin an evening. My young daughters already have a favourite toilet - at Trenchers Fish & Chip restaurant in Whitby.

I'm chuffed to find there's a special association working on our behalf. And that's not all. There are people devoted to toilets beyond these shores.

Based in the Far East, The World Toilet Organisation (WTO) issues recommendations such as wiping toilet seats both before and after use, and reporting flushes that do not work.

I could add to this. What about loose bolts on the backs of seats? There is nothing worse than a seat which you think is perfectly stable, suddenly slipping to one side. And those big round toilet roll holders that, unless the paper is already hanging out, render it impossible for you to pull it down? I think they're missing out by not having me as a member.

There is even a World Toilet Day - declared by the 17 (there's more than one?) toilet associations around the world, where people "raise awareness of the toilet user's right to a better toilet environment". I was devastated to find that I'd missed it by a week.

Anyway, it gives me a good year to prepare for 2006. I plan to celebrate the day in style, by visiting my favourite lavatory (it is in a branch of Pizza Express, so that's an excuse for a meal out) and savouring its delights.

Updated: 09:17 Tuesday, November 29, 2005