WE might have known. The Devil's a Lancastrian.

A year ago today, the Evening Press reported on the fuss caused by a York Dungeon exhibit called Satan's Grotto.

Churchmen condemned its dark take on the season, which included elves impaled on spikes, robins roasting on an open fire and Santa boiling in a cauldron.

Visitors were invited to sign away their souls for material goodies, and the exhibition was criticised for exposing children to "evil forces".

So the Diary, going where few hacks dare to tread, popped in to Hell for an exclusive chat with Satan himself.

The horny fellow told us that after the kerfuffle, most of the Dungeon's customers last year were well prepared for the Christmas horrors and took them in the right spirit. So the gruesome grotto is reopening on Thursday.

Satan, whose takes the earthly form of Damian "Bernie" Fleck, hails from Blackburn.

He describes himself as "very sleazy and entertaining and evil and mischievous" with a couple of mannerisms based on the Marilyn Manson character on comedy show Bo' Selecta.

Satan said his family were very proud of his work. "When I first told them a couple of years ago, I really expected my grandma to wag her finger at me. But she's got some photos of me as Satan and she's proud of me."

Satan's Grotto is open at York Dungeon until January 6. At the end of its run, you can get more for your soul as part of the New Year sales.

What would the Devil sell his soul for? "Good question. Blackburn Rovers winning the Premiership again."

HAPPY 50th birthday to Steven Wright, US comedian and king of the deadpan one liner. Like...

"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?"

"My friend works in radio. When we go under a bridge, I can't hear him."

"I went to a convenience store the other night. It had a sign reading, 'Open 24 Hours'. The manager was locking the place up. I said, 'Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours!' He said, 'Yeah, but not in a row'."

NOT everyone takes it easy during the Christmas season. Photocopier engineers are rushed off their feet.

According to Canon UK, "Photocopying body parts appears to be a favourite office pastime at Christmas with 32 per cent of technicians having to repair broken glass which had been sat on, or to fix paper jams that revealed evidence of embarrassing images."

One technician, Steven Mannion, said: "I had to repair a machine with a photocopy of a man's groin jammed in it. The manager suggested an office identity parade to see who Canon could charge for the call out charge."

Another, the aptly-named Geoff Bush, recounted: "I was called out for the usual 'glass broken due to someone sitting on it'. But in this case a young lady had copied her rear and broken the glass, at the same time jamming the scanner.

"To her dismay, the un-fused copy was still in the machine and every one in the office recognised who it belonged to."

The moral of these stories? Go easy on the reproduction this Christmas.

SEEN in WH Smith's branch in Coney Street, York: "Deal of the week: 2 CDs for £20, 1 for £9.99".

Updated: 09:18 Tuesday, December 06, 2005