Dungarees (no!), ski pants (no!), kipper ties (no!) and shell suits (for goodness sake, have you no shame?). JO HAYWOOD ventures into the vaults to find the best of the worst fashions of the past 50 years.
A SCHOOL trip to France in May, 1983. A tatty black donkey jacket, skin-tight jeans (sewn at the ankle with orange thread), black trainers, a black Fred Perry with yellow collar stripes and a flick fringe dyed an unappealing shade that can only really be described as "grubby Ginger Tom".
Okay, confession over, that was officially my worst fashion mistake ever. Worse even than the ra-ra skirt incident of 1982 and the brown poncho debacle of 1976.
I looked like a 13-year-old football hooligan who had just finished a 12-hour shift resurfacing the A64, using my own hair as a tar brush. Only worse.
Thankfully all photographic evidence of our coach tour of the Loire Valley has been destroyed, so no one will ever be able to confirm how truly hideous my outfit was. Others are not so lucky.
In her new book, Worst Fashions (Sutton, £9.99), dress historian Dr Catherine Horwood looks at the clothes we shouldn't have worn but did during the past 50 years.
Packed with hilarious pictures of style-deficient celebs such as Sony Bono, Minnie Driver, Jimmy Savile and some mullet-haired bloke called Tony Blair and ordinary bods in safari suits and knitted dresses, it lays bear the worst excesses of a culture obsessed with fashion.
But what makes one trend worse than another?
"Oscar Wilde said 'fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months'. But last year's outfits don't necessarily qualify for 'worst' status; they're just out of fashion," said Catherine. "For something to count as bad fashion it must send shivers of embarrassment down our spines."
If that's the case, then prepare to quiver like a jelly on a skateboard because here are her top ten worst fashions: (women) dungarees, power shoulders, leggings, leg-warmers, shell suits, catsuits, ski pants, hot pants, boob tubes and knitted dresses; (men) handbags, kipper ties, dungarees, tank tops, bellbottoms, flares, fake fur coats, safari suits, Bermuda shorts and jumpers (every single one of them, ever).
"Dungarees instantly conjure up images of the worst of the 1970s," said Catherine. "Even Diana, Princess of Wales managed to look silly wearing a pair at a polo match in Windsor in the 1980s."
One of her particular bugbears when it comes to men's style is not a pair of unfortunate trousers, it's a haircut, namely the marvellous mullet.
"Andr Agassi, Andy Fordham and Ian Botham were guilty of one of the greatest crimes against hair ever perpetrated," she said. "And unfortunately they weren't alone. Will Tony Blair ever apologise for his misjudged mullet in 1987? I don't think so."
Catherine's "kings and queens of worst fashion" are: Abba, Elton John, Peter Wyngarde, the Duchess of York, Rod Stewart, Slade, the Bay City Rollers, Elizabeth Taylor, Mick Jagger and Paul Gascoigne. A flick through the Evening Press photo album, revealed one or two local contenders too...
What were your worst fashion disasters? Were you a kipper tie guy or a crazy kitty in a catsuit? We dare you to send your pictures to Jo Haywood, Features, Evening Press, 76-86 Walmgate, York YO1 9YN.
Updated: 08:55 Tuesday, December 06, 2005
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