AT a time when England striker Peter Crouch is heading towards prolific goal-scorer status, we have decided to make this week's roll of honour the most fitting in our series so far.
For High Fives read five highs, as today's quirky quintet comprises lofty goal-getters whose elevated proportions leave them literally head and shoulders above the rest.
These are the very definition of upper-class hitmen, who have that canny knack of simultaneously keeping their feet on the ground and their heads in the clouds.
The 6ft 7in Crouch is the first that springs to mind. The former Tottenham junior first made his name for QPR in 2000, where he perfected the art of foiling offside traps by pretending to be a goal post.
He grew in stature in the top tier with Portsmouth, Aston Villa and, most notably, Southampton, from where a £7 million transfer to Liverpool made him the most instantly recognisable front-man in the country.
His initial goal-scoring form for the Reds was more eggy than he is leggy, but the man who got his name due to a mix-up at his christening has overcome that and may yet prove to be a willowy World Cup weapon for Sven-Goran Eriksson's men.
That mix-up? Apparently, as the priest stretched to pour baptismal water on the baby's forehead, his mother said, "Peter, crouch", and the name stuck.
Another in the list of long-limbed luminaries is vertical veteran Nwankwo Kanu. Made purely out of drainpipes, the former Arsenal star might be nearing retirement, but the highlights of this Nigerian beanpole's career are numerous, and he too rediscovered his goalscoring form recently with two goals in West Brom's defeat of Spurs.
Unfortunately, however, standing at a relatively diminutive 6ft 5in, he fails to reach the list of gifted goliaths, as does former Bradford, Aston Villa, Leicester and Oldham stilt-walker Ian Ormondroyd.
Nicknamed "Sticks", he was the original Peter Crouch but, despite being of similar frame, never quite reached the heights of his look-alike successor.
Technicalities also rule out former Nottingham Forest front-man Jason Lee. He was once 7ft 5in but, after chopping off his infamous "pineapple" hairstyle, shrank to a teeny 6ft 3in and so - along with the likes of Duncan Ferguson, Tore Andre Flo and Niall Quinn (all 6ft 4in) - must look up to the true giants of the game.
Kevin Francis, however, is of a different breed.
The former Stockport sky-scraper was ever a danger for lower league defences, but the fact he often played as if he couldn't feel his feet - not understandable given they were some 6ft 7in away - means he must bow his head to the more gifted of big 'uns. Well, he would if it wasn't already bowed to fit in the room.
Another man who might not raise the roof every week, but certainly needs the roof raising is Fola Onibuje.
Only 21, this Nigerian has already had six clubs - quite apt for someone who is 6ft 6in. Onibuje will be known by some York City fans as he was in the Cambridge side beaten at KitKat Crescent in September.
For the final two towering terrors, we must look to the continent.
The most celebrated international colossus is Borussia Dortmund's Czech striker Jan Koller, who stands a proud 6ft 7in.
But even he has to look up to Tor Hogne Aaroy, the most vertically endowed forward in Europe, who stars for Aalesund in the Norwegian Premier League.
He might not be well known over here but, pushing 6ft 8in, he cannot be overlooked by this column. In fact, he can't be overlooked by much.
Updated: 11:21 Tuesday, January 03, 2006
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