ONE of the great Christmas traditions is roasting nuts over a hot fire. But drinkers at a York pub nearly witnessed a painful twist on the theme when a pensioner got too close to the bar's fire for comfort.

It was Christmas Eve and the pub was packed with revellers and last-minute shoppers when the elderly man popped in for a quiet drink.

A customer got up to spend a penny, tripped over a rucksack lying on the floor and fell straight into the pensioner, who was sent flying towards the fire. The drinker just managed to grab him and pull him to safety before he fell into the flames. The drinker extended profuse apologies and offered to make amends with a complimentary pint of the pub's finest.

But the shocked pensioner was in no mood for a drink and rapidly beat a retreat from the hostelry before the drinker could inflict any more damage.

"I was so embarrassed about it," said the blushing reveller. "It was a genuine accident. I dread to think what would have happened if I had not grabbed him in time. He was as white as a sheet.

"All my mates were in stitches, but I felt really bad. I hope it didn't spoil his Christmas."

Did you experience any Christmas calamities - in the pub or at home? Please phone the newsdesk on 01904 567131.

THE Diary has been asked to thank a customer at The Greengrocer shop in Acomb, York, for her helpful but costly advice to one of our acquaintances, who had popped in to buy his wife some birthday flowers. Selecting a bunch of colourful chrysanthemums from the rack, our man waited in the queue to be served when he got chatting to a middle-aged mum.

"Do you like the smell of these," he asked her. "They're for my wife."

"They are granny flowers, way too old fashioned!" she replied, snatching the bunch from his grasp. "I'll find you some suitable ones."

Back she came with some roses, to the cheers of the people waiting in the queue. "These should do the trick," she said. But our man now suspects she may have been a "plant" - for the roses were almost double the price of the blooms he had originally chosen.

COULD our landscape be undergoing subtle yet significant changes?

The question was prompted by a report on the local BBC radio news yesterday. The 6am bulletin included a brief item about two cavers being rescued. The newsreader said the pair had been reported missing after they failed to return from a trip to Simpson's Pot - at Thornton-le-Dale.

One acquaintance of the Diary, who has turned out to more cave rescues can he cares to remember, was somewhat taken aback by this last bit. "Thornton-le-Dale? I had never heard of any caves at Thornton-le-Dale, certainly not ones that potholers get lost down," he told me. His suspicions were raised still further when he heard that the Cave Rescue Organisation had succeeded in finding the lost two, safe and well.

For my acquaintance knows full well that the Cave Rescue Organisation is based at Clapham, north of Settle, on the western edge of North Yorkshire. Further inquiries with the police revealed the rescue had actually taken place near Thornton in Lonsdale, which is near Ingleton, right in the north-west corner of the county. So holes were not appearing in the Ryedale landscape after all.

The announcer did get the location right in the 6.30am bulletin.

Updated: 08:38 Friday, January 06, 2006