It's darts season at the moment. Essential watching for an insight into the real characters that make up the working men's club scene and to get a sneak preview on who will be appearing on next year's Celebrity Fit Club.

There are those who say that darts without the legend that is Sid Waddell, he of the PDC and the "this lad's got more check-outs than Tesco" talent for plain odd phrasing, is just not darts.

But the Beeb has something different up it's sleeve. Something that is just as much of a draw to the passing armchair flicker... the darts wife.

To be honest it needs something. Double figure scores are more common than trebles and the frequently painful check-outs are in serious danger of renaming the Lakeside the Mad House.

The PDC has the fame - wall-to-wall Sky Sports coverage - and the fortune, and the BDO has the darts wife.

You can spot them from a mile off, even if you missed the hints dropped by the lingering and frequent camera close-ups.

They are the ones sporting a razor-sharp bob with razor-sharp teeth to match, always hidden behind pursed lips of the 'what time do you call this' variety.

They are as well-schooled as a Geisha in their art.

You think they are just standing there in the uniform pose of fag or nails in mouth, other arm folded across the front, when she will spring to life with a frightening snarl and clenched fist combo.

Whether it's a yell of support, triumph or 'if you go out here we won't eat for a month' (maybe not such a bad thing for some of the dartists) - it seems to do the trick.

And they combine all this while catwalking the latest fashions hot off the Slater family market stall in Walford.

But for the true sign of the darts wife, the eyes have it.

Waterproof mascara, that is. For it is written in the secret darts wife contract that tears MUST be shed after every match, win or lose.

Even new boy Jelle Klaasen's sensible-looking girlfriend got in on the act after he scraped into the semi-finals on Wednesday.

At the final double she was smiling, relieved... and then she remembered her secret duty and spontaneously started leaking water from behind her studenty spectacles.

It was quite a remarkable performance that can only bode well for next year's return to Frimley Green.

And love it or loathe it you can bet we'll be there too, praying for a 15-dart checkout, dancing to Amarillo and cheering on the darters wives - like the footballers but with Coronation Street names.

There's just one Waddell word for it - magic darts.

Updated: 10:08 Saturday, January 14, 2006