IT'S not only Westminster that's filled with political intrigue at the moment. While those cuddly Liberal Democrats ponder who should replace the leader they so courteously knifed in the back - should it be Mungo, Captain Oates, or Simon Smug? - plans are afoot which could change York council forever.
The first inkling came in an announcement by our old friends at the York Apathy Party (YAP).
They have just released their New Year's Honours list. This not only arrived two weeks' late but contains only one name. Good work, lads!
YAP is proud to award its coveted Closet Apathist Of The Year gong too... (please perform a drum roll in your head): Steve Galloway.
"He is at work all the time and he's done nothing at all," said the apathy party leader the Rt Hon Sydney Couch Potato. Sydney praised stagnation at the Barbican Centre and elsewhere as "copybook apathy". "If it wasn't for Steve all this wouldn't have come to a standstill. We reckon the Lib Dems have had a very successful year."
Sydney is so impressed by the York council leader's record that, the Diary learns, he is to make an approach to Coun Galloway asking him to join the apathy party.
"He can have free membership for the rest of his short political life," said Sydney.
OUR plea for suggestions as to who could take over from Peter Kay as the face of John Smith's Bitter prompts a double whammy. First up is Eddie Vee, who insists the Tadcaster brewery's reported eagerness to sign up a Yorkshire funnyman to head its next ad campaign is a load of froth. Apparently it is happy to continue with non-drinker Kay.
Our man in the Elvis romper suit said: "You should know that if they wanted someone from Yorkshire, I would have been the first one in."
Then an email arrives from Jean Clark responding to our request.
"Anyone who knows anything, knows you need a Lancastrian to be a funny bloke! Peter Kay, Ken Dodd etc etc etc," she writes, adding that she is "a Lancy in exile".
Why that's nonsense Jean. The merest glance at the Yorkshire Entertainment website brings forth such hilarious folk as Billy Bean, Bobby Knut and... oh, forget it.
HOW are things in Ambrose Street? Middling...
This picture was sent in by The Weasel, possibly a pseudonym, who writes: "The picture is a street sign for Ambrose Street, Fishergate, York. The remarkable thing is that this sign is about 50 metres from the end of the street where nobody will see it. It is completely and utterly useless for identifying Ambrose Street which is presumably the purpose of such a sign. There is a sign at the top end, but no sign from New Walk, which is a busy thoroughfare and gives access to Ambrose Street."
Is there a less useful sign in York? If so, you know where to find us...
Updated: 11:01 Monday, January 16, 2006
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