I don't know how those other Kates do it. Living the life of a celebrity is hard work. Having spent the week stressing about a photo shoot I was doing for a glossy magazine, I have a certain fellow feeling for the Misses Moss, Winslet and Beckinsale. I even had to have some coke afterwards, purely for recreational purposes.

Admittedly, it was a Coca-Cola (those bubbles up the nose are a real rush now I'm not drinking alcohol). And I had lined my stomach with a cheese-and-pickle buttie. As a rock'n'roll lifestyle it doesn't match Kate Moss's, but hey, I was 'living the dream', as the wannabes call it, if only for a few hours.

Pretty chilly hours they were, too, considering I spent half the time posing in Rowntree Park, attempting, with my summery skirt, camisole and strappy sandals to pretend it was flaming June. Still, at least the sun had come out; the previous Wednesday, when the shoot had originally been scheduled to take place, we'd had a blizzard.

It was hard to find any greenery to satisfy the June issue's requirements. We were tempted to set up on the bowling green, but the goose poo put paid to that, never mind my high heels. We tried near the fountain, but Mercury's buttocks were in shot, and when we did find a bush with a few brave shoots on it, just outside the main gates, the wind blew up my skirt. What with the leg flashing and my flimsy attire I looked as if I was touting for business.

In the end, we plumped for me draped alluringly on a park bench. The park keeper could hardly keep a straight face, but then he's used to seeing me in rather less glamorous clothes: the weekend before I'd been testing the water quality in the lake with the Young Friends and returned to the pavilion with muddy wellies and a soggy bottom.

Still, posing among the goose poo is the sort of thing that we professionals have to do, although I don't know how celebrities cope with having their houses exposed to the public eye.

Interior shots were required, and while we're not talking ten pages of Hello-style 'York Writer Kate Relaxes in her Beautiful Home' photographs (fortunately, or it would have read 'York writer Kate freaks out about her Artexed living room and stained sofa' - I refer you to last week's column), I don't know why I ended up scrubbing the toilet.

On a positive note, the house is now spotless, which is great because my mother-in-law is visiting this weekend. The downside is that I spent the three days beforehand in housework frenzy. 'Have you got PMT?' my friend Lucy asked.

'No, I've got Prima coming,' I replied.

I detest having my picture taken normally but the photographer, Charlotte, put me at my ease, and hair and make-up artist Bonnie not only did a great job with her brushes but also made me smile when my face went into a rictus in front of the camera.

Between them they made the experience much more pleasurable than I'd thought it would be, but I still wouldn't like to be a celebrity. Being snapped and papped is as much about exposing yourself and your imperfections as it is about living the dream - whatever that empty concept holds.

That is why we love Heat and Now, with their pictures of skinny celebs and fashion faux pas. For every A-lister in a gorgeous gown, there's another two wearing last season's boots, or caught without makeup. Channel Five recently screened a programme called Celebrities Without Slap (see Cameron Diaz's spots!) apparently to prove the point that a single picture can make or break a celebrity, but actually to feed our own schadenfreude.

I'm not immune to this: when we first got our new TV, which has got Pixel Plus, a high-definition mode that's so realistic it's like being in the same room, I used to select it to watch Sex And The City just for the pleasure of seeing that the girls did have wrinkles and blemishes.

Now a new generation of high definition TVs is about to be launched and celebrities are reported to be worried. The clarity is apparently so good - six times sharper than normal - that even more stars are resorting to surgery and make-up artists are having to be retrained to cope with more advanced cover-up techniques. There's even a website (www.tvpredictions.com) where pundit Phillip Swann reveals which stars fail the HDTV test (Teri Hatcher, Keira Knightly, J-Lo and Britney, to name a few).

All very gratifying to us mortals, but as a former acne-sufferer, I feel for poor Cam. And Twiglet-thin Teri, too, with her bulging veins (especially since co-star Eva Longoria reputedly shines on HDTV). Having done my best impersonation of a Desperate Housewife all week, I know how the strain of keeping up appearances can affect you.

Fame? You can keep it. Now where are my wellies? What do mean, navy ones are out and flowery ones are in? At least they don't show up the goose poo.

Updated: 16:10 Friday, March 24, 2006