ONCE upon a time, the only thing green about the Tories was the wellies they put on when in the countryside.

But nowadays, the Tories are green as green can be. This development must fall hard on the really green politicians, the ones who are entitled to consider themselves Green with a capital G.

Away from politics, most of us do without the wholesome capital letter, trying to be green when we can, recycling this but maybe not that (bottles and newspapers, always; tin cans, oh don't ask me about tin cans - I never get round to doing whatever it is you are supposed to do with empty tin cans).

Being green has moved into the mainstream, where once it occupied only those hardy sorts who grew their own free-range cabbages and made trousers from the left-over leaves.

David Cameron, the still more-or-less new Tory leader, is putting much energy into flourishing his green credentials, even going so far as to crunch across the Norwegian ice last week to look at a disappearing glacier (only some reports later suggested that it wasn't disappearing at all).

This was Cameron's greenest moment to date, following up all those shots of him cycling across London, and the stories about the mini-windmill generator he is putting on the roof of his house - or, rather, one of his houses.

Now there's a tricky thing for a man who is turning green faster, as one commentator has already pointed out, than the Incredible Hulk. Having two houses, one in town and the other in the country, is a traditional pastime for the better-off sort of Tory.

But it isn't, well, very green - unless Cameron cycles between the two, with his family in tow, which, of course, he doesn't, and nor could anyone expect him to.

That's the problem with being green - some things come easily (such as cycling past photographers) while others are trickier. In a sense, the snappers are part of the problem, which is not their fault, but merely what happens in their line of work.

David Cameron seems to be especially green whenever there is a photographer to hand. I'm not suggesting that, once the snappers have gone, Dave starts spraying ozone-damaging aerosols into the air, or pops into his car and leaves the engine running. But it does make a cynical person wonder.

The Tory leader's jaunt to Norway was considered a photo-op too far by some, including members of his own party, while those who organised the planet-saving stunt thought it a triumph.

Personally, I felt a little sorry for the glacier, which had been leading a blameless life until a political leader on the make tramped by, followed by a host of frozen-toed photographers.

A strange aspect to all this is that, until now, the Tories were just about the least green party around, opting instead to be selfishly blue.

Now David Cameron calls for "an international consensus around tackling climate change", while Gordon Brown, his likely Labour opponent in the next General Election, has started issuing sonorous mumbles about the dangers of climate change.

Now I don't have anything against a consensus on climate change, indeed it is just what this depleted planet needs. But it is hard not to suspect politicians who come promising great and green things, when all they want is your vote.

All this mixing it with green could lead to some strange colours on the political palette. Blue and green gets you turquoise, or something close enough, so perhaps that should be the new colour for the jolly green Tories.

Mix red and green, and you end up with a horribly muddy colour, or indeed a shade of Brown. This is not much of a colour, but it is a perfect choice for muddy compromise, which seems to be Labour's preferred method of going green.

Updated: 09:59 Thursday, April 27, 2006