I HAVE, in the past, been guilty of criticising John Prescott's performances as a politician - not so his performance of late, though.

For this I humbly apologise, not having realised that the poor man suffers from a genuine complaint which, perhaps, accounts for those lapses I so sadly condemned.

The complaint to which I refer is that very rare condition where the brain does not rise above the navel.

Take heart, John. All is not lost.

Some 55 years ago, when undertaking National Service, it was hinted that bromide had been added to our tea, thus enabling us to direct our energies and attention to our duties.

It must have been powerful stuff, as I think it's beginning to work.

So, John, try a few drops in your early morning Earl Grey and your ability to carry out your duties - politically, of course - will be greatly enhanced.

Remember keep your chin up, and your trousers up.

G A Ware,

Knapton Lane,

York.

Updated: 09:56 Wednesday, May 03, 2006