Gordon Brown's faux pas

Even if Labour wins an outright majority (doubtful), presumably Gordon Has To Go. He did once say that more than anywhere in the world he wanted to be at his home in Fife, so that’s all right then. He didn’t need the voters to send him there. He’s done it all by himself.

But as Alexander Pope, the English 18th-century poet so rightly said: “To err is human, to forgive is divine.” We all make mistakes, even gargantuan, six-lane motorway multiple pile-up ones like this. But it seems that such is our expectation of politicians that we don’t allow them even the slightest fallibility. We put them through their paces like prancing ponies then if they put a hoof wrong we whip them with incredulity, hatred and ridicule.

I know we’re not prime ministers and no doubt prime ministers should know better, but how many of us have done something similar? Smiled at the boss and then chuntered about them behind their back only to discover they were in earshot? Been two-faced about a friend’s attire, blurted out words that as you’re saying them you just know you’re going to regret, or made some throwaway crass, facile or derisory comment that causes pain and distress? We’ve all been there.

So Gordon got it badly wrong – just like the rest of us, from time to time. He didn’t just put his foot in his mouth, but a sized 14 hobnailed boot. He was a prat of the first order. But he’s eaten a whole shop-full of humble pie and apologised profusely. Question is – do we want our leader to be someone with human failings who shows their emotions from time to time, just like the rest of us? Or a person who apparently never puts a foot wrong? You decide.

• TALKING of faux pas, I came across some corkers the other day, all of which were contained in newspaper headlines or stories. You just can’t make up this stuff… How about the correction – you know, those teensy-weensy paragraphs printed at the bottom left-hand corner of page 37 when a paper gets something wrong – contained in one august organ that was a real show-stopper.

It recorded that “due to incorrect information received from the Clerk of Courts Office” a named woman was incorrectly listed as being fined for prostitution in a previous day’s paper. The charge, it said, should have been failing to stop at a railroad crossing. Someone, somewhere didn’t know whether they were coming or going with that one.

Then there was the unthinking, unfeeling headline in another paper that went “One-armed man applauds the kindness of strangers”. The sub-editor was obviously having a bad day and writing headlines in his sleep.

There again there’s just plain, outright daft that makes you wonder what some news editors are on when they send out reporters to cover inanities such as this… Police responded to a report of two dogs running loose and attacking ducks, said one newspaper gravely. The dog owner was reported for the dogs being loose and “the duck refused medical treatment and left the area”. Quackers, or what?

A news in brief paragraph in one US paper highlighted police being called to a market square following a report of a “suspicious coin”. The investigating officer said it was a quarter (25 cents), although it’s not reported why the coin was suspicious and why the police were called out to have a look at it in the first place.

In Australia, a reporter diligently reported that an expensive four-wheel drive army vehicle had gone missing – after being painted with camouflage.

Then there was the entry in the small ads of one paper which went: “Wanted: Somebody to go back in time with me. This is not a joke. PO Box 322, Oakview, California 93022. You’ll get paid when we get back. Must bring your own weapons. Safety not guaranteed. I have only done this once before.”

I wonder if Gordon applied? I bet he wishes he could go back in time…