These are classified ads, which were actually placed in a U.S. newspaper: FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.

8 years old. Hateful little bastard. Bites!.

FREE PUPPIES.

1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog.

FREE PUPPIES.

Mother, a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.

Father, Super Dog... able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.

Also 1 gay bull for sale.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY!.

Must sell washer and dryer £100.

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE.

Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie.

And the WINNER is. . .

FOR SALE BY OWNER.

Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition . . . £200 or best offer. No longer needed; got married last month. Wife knows everything!