SCHOOL’S out and after a year of hard work, it’s good to relax. For those of us with money, it’s time to head to somewhere out of York to soak up the sun and local culture and let down our hair. Of course, the foreigners know what we want and lay on all sorts of special events for us.

Since we have paid a lot of money to come all the way to their quaint towns and cities, we expect nothing less.

It’s a pity the foreigners don’t like our habit of doing a lively conga down their beachfront at 3am or sampling all the different local wines every evening, but they should understand when the Brit goes on holiday he wants to let go.

And of course he needs clean sheets on his bed and the restaurant open at whatever hour he wants food. Holidaymakers can’t be expected to stick to office hours.

For those of us left behind in York, it isn’t so much fun. Think of all the B&B, hotel and guesthouse owners. They have dozens of Great British Breakfasts to cook every morning, dozens of beds to make, dozens of...you get the picture.

They have to stay behind to look after all the tourists who bring all that lovely money into the city or the York economy would collapse. The various tourist attractions have to be staffed too, because we really would prefer the tourists to be inside the Castle Museum, National Railway Museum, Fairfax House, and the rest of them, rather than outside. They do tend to get in the way on the streets.

Walking down Coney Street is impossible in the summer unless you are thinner than a fashion model and as for trying to cycle along Deangate, forget it. There’s bound to be some idiot with a camera stepping backward into your path so he can get a good shot of the Minster.

Don’t the tourists understand that York is a working city, not some Disneyland recreation of the past? We have railways and offices and other workplaces that all demand their employees arrive on time and not get delayed by holidaymakers. We can’t spend our lunchtimes answering stupid questions like: “How do I get to the Jorvik Centre?” Surely the whole world knows it’s in Coppergate Centre, next to St Mary’s Church. Every tourist should remember they are our guests and therefore should behave appropriately.

In particular, they should do their best to minimise their effect on local life, keep their meal and other requirements to reasonable hours such as between 9am and 9pm and not inflict on us their peculiar brand of national behaviour, such as walking around with cameras stuck to their eyes.

Then those of us trapped in York for the next couple of months could have some kind of peace and quiet. It’s amazing how many inhabitants of foreign towns and cities find their way to York in the summer. Could it be that they don’t fancy spending their holiday months making beds, cooking endless meals at weird hours and answering strange questions from visiting English holidaymakers?

Are they trying to escape from the problems of late-night congas, drunken lager louts and the difficulties of walking down streets crowded by English parents trailing squads of screeching children? York residents, of all people, should know the problems of living in a tourist destination.

Perhaps we should remember that when we’re on holiday, we are the guests, and it is up to us in the interests of international harmony to make sure we don’t let our hair down too far.