On our last night in Camp Bastion, we go to Pizza Hut and to see a show. No joke.
Alongside the NAAFI is a Pizza Hut takeaway trailer, selling pizzas for between 5 and 13 US dollars.
The show is the CSE show, standing for Combined Services Entertainment. They try to hold one about every six months, so most soldiers will get to see one while they're out on tour.
Hundreds of soldiers gather for the spectacle, which is held in the open air on a cooler night than we've experienced so far. It's also the first night it's been possible to see stars through the dusty atmosphere.
Troops sit and stand on blast walls and an armoured vehicle which I learned yesterday was called a Buffalo, a huge menacing machine which was used as the starting point for Bonecrusher in the Transformers series.
A large-nosed compere starts the evening off with a few close-to-the-bone jokes poking fun at Islam, the US army and the RAF before introducing three scantily-dressed dancers that were the most hotly awaited part of the evening.
A Canadian comedian is popular for his parody of the irate, beer guzzling Brits usually impatient for the interval to refill their drinks. At this interval, troops buy crates of alcohol-free beer and cans of pop.
The second half is dominated by a band, which prove themselves to be rather talented musicians after starting off with U2's Vertigo, cheesily adapting the lyric "I'm at a place called Afghanistan."
Coloured lights are shined into the vast black sky as the band covers songs by the Arctic Monkeys, Kings of Leon and Dizzee Rascal. Even more popular than the numbers accompanied by the dancing girls are some particularly poignant anthems.
Troops stand for renditions of Journey's Don't Stop Believing and Guns and Roses' Sweet Child of Mine, which rouse emotions. Although there's a positive feeling emanating from the swaying crowds around the edges, the majority of troops sit directly in front of the stage in rows.
They obediently stand, as one, when asked to get on their feet by the band, and clap rhythmically on demand. Whether through fatigue or regimented rule few troops shake a leg or bop a head.
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