VEGETATING is how Moira and Geoff Pearson describe their lives of a few years ago. Their children had left and while they were happy, nights in front of the television had become unfulfilling; they had lost their sense of purpose.

Moira and Geoff, who live in Acomb, had always been a caring couple, but six years ago, something was missing. Then they found a way to fill the void.

The couple are now foster carers to three children. There are birthday parties to arrange and family holidays to be enjoyed again; Christmas has its sparkle back. Moira says she wishes they had done it years ago.

“You get a lot of love and it’s about helping children to be safe,” she says. “And there is so much satisfaction to be had in doing that.”

In their fifties, the couple thought they were too old for fostering, but after weeks of robust checks and a three-day training course, they found themselves with a new family to look after.

Then there are the children who come for a short stay. Moira and Geoff have helped 20 youngsters whose only wish is to find love and stability.

“Children need a routine and it’s an achievement just to let them have a normal life,” says Geoff. “Nothing special happens every day, but normality and a family life is all children really want. Anyone can offer that, you just need to give time, be patient and have a love of children.”

They call themselves ordinary people, but what they are doing is anything but common place. Both have an infectious sense of humour and a liberal dose of tolerance. It’s a winning formula.

“It doesn’t feel like fostering now, it feels like our normal family and that’s the buzz I get out of it,” says Moira.

“As time goes on you see a big change in them. They arrive with problems but after a while everything seems to slot into place. I couldn’t imagine the house now without the three kids in it.” There are times when it gets tough, when Moira and Geoff wonder if they have done the right thing, but that doesn’t last long. They know coming into a strange home can be scary for any child, but once they feel welcome and secure, the guard drops and trust develops. One lad told them he just wanted a forever family and asked would they be his.

It was enough to settle any nagging doubts.

One of the hardest parts is when children meet their birth parents and they do so under supervised conditions, especially where there is a history of neglect. Then there are those who come on a short break, because their own carer may be in hospital. Staying detached while at the same time providing love can be a difficult balancing act, but Moira says it’s not about them.

“Of course you get attached and while in your own mind you don’t want them to leave, when they do at least there is a feeling that you’ve done the best for them and that is very satisfying.”

Foster carers are not encouraged to refer to themselves as mum and dad, but Moira and Geoff’s children are looking for stability, especially in the presence of others. So at home they may be Uncle Geoff and Moira, but on holiday the kids call them mum and dad – just like all the other children call theirs.

Sometimes, it can get a bit mixed up.

“We went away once and we all have different names on our passports,” says Geoff. “The passport controller seemed suspicious but he didn’t ask me what was going on, instead he turned to our lad and said ‘So who is this with you young man?’ To which he replied ‘It’s my uncle Geoff … isn’t it dad?’”

Most children in foster care have problems, whether they are from a broken home or victims of neglect. It takes time to adjust and looking after them is all about patience; taking one day at a time and, the couple believes, about setting ground rules.

Moira and Geoff’s children didn’t have any guidelines before, but since an element of strictness came into their routine, they have responded well.

The changes are sometimes subtle, at other times startling. Their girls didn’t really go to school until they moved in; now one of them is getting A grades.

“There are good days and bad days but you just have to be patient,” says Moira. “And there’s a lot of support and help from care workers. That and a good sense of humour will see you right.”

York has 230 children and teenagers in care but only 113 fostering houses and more are urgently required – at least ten more in the coming months. A good way to start is by offering short breaks, to see if long-term fostering would be possible.

“Now, for us, there are other people to think about, rather than just ourselves,” says Geoff. “And you can make such a huge difference to a child’s life. If you’re sitting there thinking it must be nice to do that, to make that difference, while you do there there’s a child waiting to be at your house.

“So why wait?”

Jade Aitkin left foster care at an early age because she thought she knew best. Now she spends her life trying to stop others from making the same mistake

JADE Aitkin believes people such as Moira and Geoff are nothing short of inspirational. Jade, 21, spent her early teenage years in foster care having first been sent to live with her aunt, then grandmother, after her parents were sent to prison. She thought she would hate it, but now says it was the making of her. So she dedicates her life to helping young people who also find themselves in need of a helping hand.

Three years ago, she helped set up York’s Staying Put campaign – a Government pilot scheme designed to allow people to remain with their foster parents once they reach adulthood.

“I moved out because I thought I could do it myself. It was a chance of freedom. But now I’ve learned that we shouldn’t be talking to any 16-year-olds about getting a flat. The years between 16 and 18 are vital, but when young people think they know best, it’s very difficult to convince them otherwise.”

Jade knows exactly what teenagers in care are going through. She believes they are most in need of help.

“I’ve spoken to loads who, like me, thought they knew best and they listen to me because I haven’t had a university education or silver spoon in my mouth. I’ve lived it and I know what they are about to put themselves through if they get a flat of their own, but it’s a waste of two crucial years when they should be going to college.”

Jade says her years in foster care were hugely influential. She has developed into a confident young woman who is focused on what she wants to do; which is help teenagers who are down on their luck, just like she was.

“Being with foster parents does become normal, like your home and I love my foster mum to pieces. I still see her weekly and she has been one of the most stable things in my life. Now I can’t imagine being brought up any other way, it was the making of me. Who would I be otherwise?”

It also provided a plan for her life. Once Jade has developed her career she plans to become a foster parent herself, but perhaps surprisingly says she would only foster teenagers.

“They may be the hardest group and the most difficult to home, but I was a teenager in need of help and those years are the most important of anyone’s life. Without school, GCSEs and a belief in yourself you aren’t going to have a very good future.

“Because I’ve been through it all, I’ll tell you what, I’m going to be one of the best foster carers out there.”

Until then, she will work with those less fortunate and having left the Staying Put team is about to begin working with disabled people for the Joseph Rowntree Foundation.

“I think foster carers are really selfless and motivating people. It takes a strong person to do it because you have people walking in and out of your life all the time. But they are probably the best people you could ever meet.”


How the Staying Put scheme works in York

CITY of York Council is one of ten local authorities across the country to pilot Staying Put. The scheme gives fostered young people increased support and encouragement to stay with their foster families until they feel mature enough to start living independently, rather than choosing to leave at 18.

Anyone can become a foster carer. The main requirement is to offer a stable and nurturing home to a young person.

More than 150 York children are looked after by foster carers every year, some for short periods, others until they grow up. They need foster care for a variety of reasons and some can present challenging behaviour. Foster carers are offered professional training and advice and receive a weekly allowance to cover the cost of looking after each child or young person. To find out more, phone the duty family placement officer on 01904 551550, email adoptionandfostering@york.gov.uk or visit york.gov.uk/health/Children_and_family_care